First day back in college for the Fall. I woke up at the break of dawn and started doing school. I don't like Children's Lit. The book is boring. I loved my summer class even though it was a rough class. The book in that class was very interesting. I think I signed up for the wrong class. I am hoping it gets better.
We watched a great family movie last night, Hanna Montana. She goes back to Tennessee for two weeks and finds herself. I just loved the mountains in the movie. Tennessee was the place where I found love for the first time in my life. Tennessee is where I met my husband and started our life together. Tennessee was where I was brokenhearted and had to learn to move on with life. Tennessee was where I went to college, finished high school, made the commitment to follow God and live a Godly life, Tennessee was where I sowed my teenage oats. Not many oats being I was a "good girl". Tennessee was where I feel in love with nature, learned to ride a motorcycle, buried my brother (he died on his 26th birthday) I was about to turn 25 when he died. Tennessee was where I had my first child (c-section). I really don't consider it given birth. I have never given birth to a child. I had my three girls ripped out of me my a doctor. Tennessee was were I buried my dad, were I learned what it was like to miss someone when you move away from them. Tennessee was were I had my first wreck, were I made friends with my life long girl friend. Where I had my first kiss stole from me by the boy next door (not a good fellow). Tennessee was probably where most of my firsts were at. The things I most hold dear happened to me in Tennessee. So the movie had a lot of meaning for me.
We can't live in yesterday, would we really want to do that. It is best to think of those things and then bury them again to maybe pull back out at another time. Somethings a person doesn't really care to think about. I had a lot of bad times in Tennessee too. I had an abusive dad, not many high school friends, I almost lost my husband a few days after my brother died. He got shot by accident and almost died. I was lonely in high school and in college. I had trouble making friends and was shy. I had a lot of boyfriends. I dated most of them for between 2 weeks and 2 years. I dated them until I decided they were not the one. My husband must of saw the pattern and asked me to marry him two weeks after we started dating. Guess he was afraid I would dump him too. I told him no and he waited a few weeks and asked me again. I of course said yes and 8 months later we were married. I have never regretted marring him, unless we are in the mist of a fight. When who doesn't regret. He knows me better then anyone else. He knows my faults my likes my dislikes my desires. My goals and my heartaches. It really isn't a good idea to dwell on bad things (dad beating all of us, belittling us and making our life a living nightmare). We cant go back and redo our mistakes we make in life. All we can do is press on. Most of my bad things in my teen years was done to me so reliving them or going back wouldn't help being I wasn't the one doing them.
I have tried most of my life to put the past behind me and move on. I don't want it to sour my life. I will strive to remember the good things in my past and cherish them. Cherish the people that made my life happy and move on. Yes, I can ramble... This is my blog and I can ramble if I want to.
Well the boys are ready to start school so I best go. Later when I have time I want to tell my adoption story.
Rose (my favorite flower)
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